While I was growing up, my interpretation of modesty was simple. I was to dress in such a way that I was not a stumbling block for men. Now that I'm old enough to look back on this and understand what that really means, I have come to believe that my previous interpretation was, and always will be, wrong.
As a young Christian woman, I fully agree that dressing appropriately is necessary, but not so we will avoid being stumbling blocks for men. We are not at fault for a man's struggle with temptation. Nor are men at fault for a woman's struggle with it either. Yes, women struggle with it too. It is not our place to make the other gender the victim of our own guilt and shame. This is not a gender vs. gender issue. This is a HUMAN matter, and we are to address it together. Dressing appropriately as men and women demonstrates our honor to God.
Men make their own choices just as women make theirs. I recently read, "Seeing a Woman: A Conversation Between A Father And Son" (Read it for yourself here: http://natepyle.com/seeing-a-woman/#sthash.WNsHmA2q.dpuf)
In this article, the father [hypothetically speaking to his son] gets straight to the point;
" It is a woman’s responsibility to dress herself in the morning. It is your responsibility to look at her like a human being regardless of what she is wearing. You will feel the temptation to blame her for your wandering eyes because of what she is wearing – or not wearing. But don’t. Don’t play the victim. You are not a helpless victim when it comes to your eyes. You have full control over them. Exercise that control. Train them to look her in the eyes. Discipline yourself to see her, not her clothes or her body. The moment you play the victim you fall into the lie that your simply embodied reaction to external stimuli is unable to determine right from wrong, human from flesh."
Yes, women wear things that are very revealing and "appealing to the eye" to those around them, but so do men. Both genders are at fault. I won't sit here and say that I haven't put myself in that situation, because I have. I have failed over and over and over again. I once believed that my physicality's were the way to win a guy's heart. I'm not ashamed to share this with you, but I am ashamed that I once made myself believe such a lie.
But you know what? There's this beautiful thing called redemption that tells me I am not who Satan once told me I was. I am not the girl who has to obsess over the way she looks in the mirror, the "special" way in which to take pictures that will get me "likes" or "follows", one who has to obsess over being skinny and wear clothes to show off every curve on my body, and so forth. No. I am a woman of worth and value, a jewel, who holds more worth and value than I could ever possibly imagine in the eyes of the King. I am a daughter of the King, and I live to please Him (and only Him) and to seek His every desire for my heart. His desires will never entail unrighteousness. Everything I do is to glorify Him, and that includes the way I dress. I want to be known and pursued for the heart I have- not for the way I look and dress.
"Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body." ! Corinthians 6:19-20
"You are not your own, for you were bought with a price." This price was not one that some of us pay for clothing that shows a little too much. No, this price was so much more. This price was the flesh and blood of Jesus Christ that was shed for MY sins and YOURS.. God did not give us bodies so that He could fill our hearts with immorality and the desire for lust. That's called temptation, and its got Satan written all over it. God gave us bodies that are temples of the Holy Spirit within us. If you think that God desires for your body to reflect anything but the love of Christ, you're wrong. Our bodies were made to be special temples of worship. That is God's desire for all of us. We are living sacrifices of Jesus Christ, and by no means does that entail immodesty.
Modesty is always going to be an issue, and I'm not sitting here trying to give you the solution to it. I'm just giving my solution to it.
With that being said, I will leave you with this.
We are in control of how we look at someone. And just like the admirable father mentioned in the post that I shared with you earlier- we can control our eyes and we should teach ourselves how to look into the eyes of a human and see them for the human they are with our heart instead of looking at their physicality's with our eyes. Regardless of my dress, I always want to be defined by the heart that I have. Don't you?
Friends, we were all created by God with every good and right intention. We were created to love, and to serve. That doesn't mean we're perfect. Quite frankly, we are sooo imperfect, but we're also soooooo loved by the most perfect God. And still, regardless of our flaws, we were chosen to be the hands and feet of Jesus! Why? Because we're loved, forgiven, accepted, and redeemed. He chose US. I encourage you to let God's signature be written across every ounce of your heart and every ounce of the temple (your body) that houses your heart.
When we have the modesty to admit that immodesty is [or has been] one of our failings, modesty then becomes one of our best qualities.
Think about it.
Peace and Grace,
Emily Lauren